As much as Dale Earnhardt Sr. engraved a legacy on the racetrack, he struggled to wear the same cape at home. Later in life, he made a conscious effort to bridge the emotional gap with his children, especially after his eldest daughter, Kelley Earnhardt, moved away. Determined to keep his family close, he struck a deal to bring her back home.
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Kelley, however, recalls walking her own tightrope. In a conversation with Ryan McGee on Earnhardt: NASCAR’s Companion Podcast, she reflected, “I think about the process of being involved with my kids and their college choices and the applications. I did all that stuff on my own.”
From scouting campuses to mailing in applications and packing up for the next chapter, Kelley charted her course solo. She said, “I drove myself after I graduated high school, got in my Z24, packed it up, and drove myself to Wilmington, four hours away… I say all that because for my kids, I wanted to be involved in what schools. I wanted to hear why they wanted to go to certain schools.”
That’s why she and her husband made it a point to walk beside their children through every step, from campus tours to housing arrangements, something she never experienced growing up. “We wanted to just be part of that process and understand the whys and where you going to live and what’s this going to look like and all these kinds of things, and just none of that ever happened for us in our home,” she said pointedly.
But it’s not that Dale Sr. didn’t try to mend their relationship. While Kelley was away at college in Wilmington, her father decided to change the tune. Earnhardt Sr. asked her flat-out, “What will it take to get you home?” because she would not even come back home. Her reply was straightforward and bold: “I want to live on my own and I want to drive a race car.” He shook on it and sealed the deal.
Despite navigating much of her youth on her own, Kelley Earnhardt carries no bitterness. She wears her independence like a badge, never once looking in the rearview mirror with regret.
Dale Earnhardt Jr. on his relationship with his father
Although Kelley Earnhardt once shared that despite growing up under the same roof, she and Dale Jr. walked two very different emotional paths with their father. While Junior eventually bridged the gap with Dale Sr. through racing despite the initial setbacks, Kelley never found that same connection.
In an interview alongside Kelly Crandall, tied to the release of Earnhardt on Amazon Prime, Dale Jr. and Kelley pulled back the curtain on a telling moment that highlighted just how out of sync Dale Sr. had been with his son’s aspirations.
At one point, under the mistaken belief that Junior wanted to pursue art, Dale Sr. and Teresa surprised him with a box full of high-end art supplies. But for Junior, the gesture was a punch to the gut. He had never dreamt of sketchbooks and canvases; his heart was set on driving, just like his father. What stung more was that he hadn’t found the courage or the words to tell his dad.
“I panicked,” he admitted. “Like, ‘Oh my god. I’m not going to be a race car driver.’ It was a very shocking few minutes where I just couldn’t believe that this is what they thought I would want to do.” The moment showed the truth, racing still felt like a distant shore, and he had no idea how to sail toward it, let alone ask his father to navigate the waters with him.
Despite being Dale Earnhardt’s son, Junior revealed that genuine father-son conversations about racing were few and far between, and that silence left Dale Sr. in the dark about just how much his son wanted to follow his path.
Later, in a 2023 sit-down with Graham Bensinger, Junior laid his cards on the table. He didn’t just step into racing for the trophies or the spotlight; it was also a lifeline to his father’s attention. He craved that recognition.
“I got more and more into, ‘Hey! I want to do racing because it gets me closer to Dad,’” he confessed. For Junior, every lap was a bid to earn not just respect on the track, but a seat at his father’s emotional table.
