This week, we conduct The (Un)Real Interview with Cristiano Ronaldo, as he talks about Juventus, Atletico and Real Madrid.
Atletico Madrid defeated Juventus 2-0 in the round-of-16 of the Champions League last night. However, Cristiano Ronaldo headlined the news with his mocking gestures towards the Atletico Madrid fans during and after the game.
He showed his five fingers, implying that he had won five Champions League titles while Atletico had won none. He repeated the same gesture in the media zone as he was leaving Wanda Metropolitano.
His act raised significant discussion on the social media after the game, and we sat down with Ronaldo to talk about the gesture and Juventus’ chances of overturning the two-goal deficit.
Hi Cristiano, how are you?
Hi-five, bud.
Wow, you look in a good mood..
Not really. I slept at five in the morning, actually.
It was a tough game, wasn’t it?
Not really. That game was 5/10 on my scale of difficulty.
Your team dropped a 5/10 as well, sadly..
Excuse me?
No, nothing. What is this fascination with “five,” Cristiano? Every answer seems to have the number five..
It’s something I learnt recently. You see, Jose [Mourinho] is free and he’s been tutoring me on how to show you’re the boss even when you lose. He did his stuff with ‘three’ during his third season with United. Now, I’m doing my stuff with ‘five’.
Many argue that it makes you look like a sore loser, though.
I care about those sentiments as much as the number of Champions League titles won by Atletico Madrid.
Ooh, that’s harsh.
I’ve been five times harsher with them when I was at Real Madrid.
Coming back to the tie – Do you believe Juventus can overturn the deficit in the second leg? AND PLEASE DON’T SAY JUVENTUS WILL SCORE FIVE.
Oh, I wasn’t going to say that. It is not possible for us to score five. I can’t imagine the look on Allegri’s face if we somehow score five. He’ll probably go and murder Oblak before Simeone does, haha. Mental guys, both of them.
So, do you believe you can go to quarterfinals?
With Cristiano, anything is possible. And you know what Juventus stands for – Fino..
Okay, don’t..
.. Alla..
No, Cristiano.
FIVE!
Why did you have to do that?
SIUUUUUU!
You’re unreal.
See, I’ve won five CL titles and five Ballon d’Or trophies. It fits perfectly.
Anyway, what are your thoughts on VAR?
It started with Russia last summer. Poetically, it has all the potential to start another World VAR.
Nice wordplay, but seriously, is it beneficial?
I can tell you, it’s Real beneficial. Real.
Real..
.. beneficial.
Aah.
See, I don’t really want to talk about the past now.
You’re doing it since yesterday with consistently reminding us about ‘five.’
Sorry?
No, nothing. Well, thank you for your valuable time, Cristiano.
(This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.)
