Ravi Ashwin mankads Buttler: Virat Kohli and MS Dhoni break silence (Satire)

(This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.)

Ravi Ashwin’s Mankad to dismiss Jos Buttler stirred controversy among the media, and Virat Kohli and MS Dhoni have now broken silence on the incident.

Ravichandran Ashwin dismissed Jos Buttler with a Mankad dismissal in the fourth game of the IPL between Kings XI Punjab and Rajasthan Royals.

The incident ignited controversy almost immediately, with fans and players putting forward their opinions about the dismissal. While some criticised Ashwin, many also praised the cleverness with which he ran Buttler out.

The English players voiced their opinions in a unison, as they attacked Ashwin for lacking the sportsman spirit. Now, Indian captain Virat Kohli and former captain/wicketkeeper MS Dhoni have broken the silence to talk about the issue.

We interviewed both the players:

Hello Virat. How are you?

Virat: Can’t wait for the World Cup.

Well, you guys have only played one game. The season is long..

Virat: You make me more depressed than the game against Chennai Super Kings.

Oh sorry. Well, we all saw what happened in the game between KXIP and RR yesterday.

Virat: Yeah, we did. It was horrific.

So you are shocked by Ashwin’s decision as well?

Virat: Absolutely. What he did was absolutely mental. He didn’t have MS Dhoni or Rohit Sharma and he still won the game. This is just amazing.

Umm, I’m not actually talking about that..

Virat: Oh, I know. He didn’t have Bumrah or Bhuvi, and he won it with Shami and Ankit Rajpoot. Yes, that was shocking as well.

I was talking about the Mankad dismissal, Virat.

Virat: Oh, that. The dismissal was within the rules of the game. I don’t understand why people are outraging over it.

Ben Stokes said that he’ll never do it even if it’s the final over of the World Cup, with you at the non-striker’s end.

Virat: Of course, he won’t. You need to bowl the final over to dismiss a player. Let’s see – umm, Carlos Braithwaite? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

What if Ashwin does it to you in the IPL this season?

Virat: Why do you think he chose a team like Rajasthan Royals to Mankad someone? No one cares about them, haha. Don’t worry, he won’t do it again.

If he does?

Virat: Then I’m the national team’s captain.

Right, we also have MS Dhoni with us to talk about the incident. MS, what do you have to say?

Dhoni: Ashwin came from CSK. Why is it a shock?

What are you implying here?

Dhoni: Well, of course, I’m implying that the cleverness comes from playing under me for all those years.

Oh.

Dhoni: See, we have this great chemistry. If you’re out of line on my side, I’ll stump you out. On the other side, Ravi takes care of things.

Do you think that the spirit of cricket comes into play in arguments such as these?

Dhoni: The spirit of cricket matters almost as much as RCB in an IPL title race.

Woah. Well, thank you for your time.

Dhoni: This is what I told Virat after the game as well.