Shaquille O’Neal has never been one to shy away from dishing out his opinions unapologetically. The Hall of Famer recently questioned why society always insists on making dumb trends big. In this case, he was referring to the viral man-versus-gorilla debate that has taken over social media in recent weeks. Shaq doesn’t believe it’s an actual debate, though, as he knows what the hulking primates are capable of.
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Even with a massive advantage in bodies, the Lakers legend doesn’t believe the “100 men versus one gorilla” challenge would be anything more than a slaughtering at the hands of the 400-plus pound beast. Russ had more faith in humanity while weighing in on the debate on The Big Podcast – but only if he gets to hand-pick his roster.
Russ seemed confident that a team full of prime Shaqs could take down one measly gorilla, but after numerous trips to the zoo over the years, The Diesel has grown to disagree. He explained that whenever he visits the zoo, gorillas are either angered or intimidated by his presence. So, Russ decided to name two of NBA history’s most physical big men to help him out.
“Give me 50 prime Shaq and 50 prime, no,” Russ said while trying to concoct his gorilla-killing dream team. “No, 20 prime Ben Wallace, 20 prime Rasheed Wallace, and then 60 prime Shaq.” But considering what he had seen from gorillas in his past interactions with them, Shaq still wasn’t convinced.
“I don’t know if you’ve heard this story, but every zoo I’ve went to, the gorilla tries to fight me,” Shaq shared with the longtime rapper. “Start off with the zoo in Miami. The guys always take me to the back and say, ‘Don’t look at the gorilla.’ But I looked at one gorilla. He came up to me … He was looking at me, I was looking at him like, ‘What the f*** you looking at?’ He just went crazy.”
After angering the beast, Shaq quickly realized he was no gorilla, despite his massive frame. “All they eat is salad. Don’t eat meat, they eat grass, that’s salad,” he continued, admitting defeat without actually saying it. But Adam Lefkoe wasn’t ready to move on from the topic, deciding to ask Shaq and Russ to draft three names if they were tasked with taking down a gorilla.
After Lefkoe explained that Shaq had the first pick of any human in the world, the former MVP didn’t hesitate with his response, “Anybody that’s on crack,” he said with a straight face. Knowing that the average gorilla both outweighs him and towers over him, Shaq believes the only way a human would pick a fight is if they were inebriated.
“RIP, but just prime Kimbo Slice,” Russ fired back with his first pick. For his next pick, the 32-year-old decided to pass on Shaq, knowing he wouldn’t be ready for battle. “I need somebody nuts. I need like Brock Lesnar. Like vintage Brock Lesnar,” he continued. O’Neal kept the same theme with his next pick, “A meth addict.”
Russ clearly took the challenge more seriously than Shaq, but it would take much more than three humans to take down a gorilla, no matter who they are. Eventually, Russ ceded that Shaq may have the better strategy, adding that his picks would also be given crack as an insanity supplement, but just enough to get them to not run away screaming.
