Dwyane Wade has 13 NBA All-Star selections, 3 NBA championships and an Olympic gold medal to his name, yet when asked about his biggest achievements, the Hall of Famer would probably talk about trying to raise his children right. Wade has authored multiple children’s books, but his most notable contribution to literature has been his memoir, the aptly titled A Father First: How My Life Became Bigger Than Basketball.
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The memoir reveals an enlightening analysis of how Wade grew up and how he focused on ending the cycle of abuse. In the book, Wade recalls harrowing tales of gang wars, police violence and drug abuse, themes all too common amid poverty.
Wade, however remains determined to prevent his children from experiencing the world that way. In fact, he makes it a point to help them understand the ways of the world while setting higher standards for them than his parents set for him.
Wade was recently joined by the usual suspects on his DwyaneWade podcast, where former Miami Heat star Dorell Wright shared how he learned that his kids needed to choose their own path.
Wright spoke about his youth, saying, “I didn’t even see myself getting the opportunity to hoop. I didn’t see myself really being a professional because of the work I had to do to get to that point.”
Dorell went on to describe how he relates to his son, “So, it’s the same thing with [my son] Devin. That father-son relationship, me not even caring like, I put the relationship on the back burner to get my kid what he needs. And that’s how my dad was. He didn’t care if I liked him. He just wanted to see me being successful.”
Wright expressed that he is willing to sacrifice a bit of his relationship with his child just to put him in the best possible position in life. He told Wade about wanting to put his son in a spot where he is valued for who he is and not for who his father or godfather are.
Wade then reminded the panel of something Draymond Green shared that really enlightened him. “His route, not your route,” Green advised, stressing the importance of letting kids follow their passions and not forcing your own hopes on them.
While Wade and Wright agreed that, though not every home can be a two-parent household, they both insisted it’s important to understand the father position.
“When it comes to the kids’ lives … [sometimes] you feel like you can do it all. And women are some of the strongest humans in the world, especially moms, but also to have that voice, that manly presence, that manly voice … It’s just needed,” Wade claimed.
“Just make sure that that [fatherly] voice and that presence is in the kids’ lives. Especially [when] they get to this age … where these decisions are becoming very, very important,” the Hall of Famer noted.
Wright concurred, revealing that he thought he knew everything when he was a teenager. It was during this time that he needed his father to be in his ears to instill a value system in him so that when he was by himself, he could still be guided by his father’s voice.
Wade, meanwhile, stressed the importance of allowing your child to pursue something they’re good at but asserted that everybody needs a different game plan because each experience is about much more than the physical event.
“Maybe you like it because you watch it with your dad, your granddad played or whatever the case might be. It’s not necessarily about loving the sport as much as loving the things about it,” he added.
Maybe the kid just likes to win and enjoys the attention; whatever it is, the parents need to hone in on that. In this way, according to Wade, the child will want to return to it every single day.
It’s certainly a good piece of advice for parents whose kids are getting to that age where decisions need to be made, especially if they have shown an inclination toward professional sports. Who better to listen to than those who seem to be doing a good job at it?
