Competition is the name of the game in today’s world. Everything seems to boil down to who has the better grades, stats, and rankings. The pressure is even more intense in youth sports, where the stakes are high but the opportunities are limited.
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And, while kids endure this hustle and race, it is their parents who play a significant role in compounding it further. Many push their children relentlessly, expecting nothing short of excellence.
For some of the more pushy parents, anything less than perfection is simply unacceptable. These unrealistic expectations are truly ruining youth sports, pointed out Cam Newton.
In the latest episode of 4th & 1, Newton called out the current state of youth sports. According to the former NFL MVP, the issue starts with unrealistic expectations from parents, who believe their child must be the main contributor to the success of the team they are part of. But then the harsh reality hits them.
“Do we need to hold players accountable? Yes… But, we also need to hold these parents accountable,” said Newton. “Every son, every child is not going to be the star of the team.” So, what should be an appropriate approach?
Newton recalled his football journey and the lessons his father instilled in him during his formative years.
“My maturation as a football player went like this: for the first really seven to eight years, I played Linebacker… If we were blowing the team out, I was playing running back… I was the guy they had to send to… I had the hammerhead mentality because my father instilled in me: if you don’t take care of your business on the field, I’m going to take care of you off the field,” said Newton.
Cam wants kids and their parents to let go of their delusions and accept reality. They should be willing, or taught, to play for the team that values them, rather than just the one they dream of. However, Newton’s experience with his father was one of tough love.
His dad was strict — so strict that Cam admits he feared him. While that kind of fear-based parenting can create discipline, it’s not always healthy either. The goal isn’t to be your child’s best friend, but it also shouldn’t be to make them afraid of you.
The former Heisman winner then emphasized a deeper issue prevalent now, which wasn’t there in his childhood: a lack of effort among youth. He believes standards are slipping because many kids aren’t willing to work hard. Talent and skill, after all, don’t appear in a player overnight. They’re earned through repetition, practice, and dedication.
What coaches really value is effort. That’s the foundation for growing in sports. Newton said his father instilled in him the value of hard work.
“My father always held me to a standard about one thing- effort. It wasn’t about skill. The effort is what’s being lost because everybody, including the parents, and it trickles down to the players — they feel entitled… Your son ain’t good. He needs to get better. He is not ready yet,” said Newton.
But parents can’t be hard taskmasters either. Ultimately, what kids need is balance.
They need a safe space where they can express their struggles and frustrations without judgment. Bottling up emotions leads to deeper issues, especially around mental health. Parents play a key role in that.
At the end of the day, there’s more than one way to raise a strong, resilient child. You don’t have to coddle them, but you don’t need to be harsh either. You can be firm without being cruel and demand effort and accountability while still showing love and understanding.
