Football fan creates hilarious thread on what if the Premier League managers had a normal job. There are also a few special mentions.
Being a football manager is one of the hardest jobs out there. Doing so in the Premier League is even harder and yet it is one of the most coveted jobs. The thrill, the money, the competition, there is just so much about it that attracts top managers from around the world.
Also read: Liverpool in the race for £100m rated striker after he expresses desire to leave club
But what if the likes of Jurgen Klopp and Pep Guardiola had never chosen football as their career. Where would life take them if they’d chosen a life outside the sport? Don’t worry,Twitter user @unrealxherdan has imagined what all 20 managers would be doing if they had a normal job.
Football fan creates hilarious thread re-imagining football managers with normal jobs
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Daniel Farke (Norwich City)
Rodie with German Industrial Rock band Rammstein. Has known to drive the tour bus after 10 pints. Never had a bank account or mobile phone.
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Ralph Hasenhuttl (Southampton)
Skiing instructor. Looks cool and groovy as he’s swishing down the Austrian alps. Probably having an affair with your mum too.
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Quique Sanchez Flores (Watford)
Owns a nightclub in Ibiza just across the road from Lineker’s. Is best mates with @waynelineker. Also rumoured to have starred in several adult films.
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Dean Smith (Aston Villa)
Has his own one-man-band painting and decorating firm.
Bombing round the midlands in his van making sure all your walls are looking fantastic. Reasonably priced, too.
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Manuel Pellegrini (West Ham)
Supply teacher. The Year 10 boys know it’s party time when Mr Pellegrini turns up.
Kids take advantage of his kindly nature and also the fact he is totally useless at his job.
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Marco Silva (Everton)
Currently unemployed after a string of high level jobs in big organisations for that he is unqualified for.
Is great in interviews but hasn’t actually a clue what he is doing on a day to day basis.
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Mauricio Pochettino (Tottenham)
Runs a trendy tech start up in London. Had a few really good years but now struggling because all his best members of staff want to leave.
Looking to sell up and join a bigger firm.
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Steve Bruce (Newcastle)
Butcher. Finest lamb chops in all the north east. Good honest labour. Always gives extra to the older ladies. Been known to eat all his stock.
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Roy Hodgson (Crystal Palace)
Vicar of the local church in some sleepy southern village. Helps out at the fete and local library. All the old dears love him. Also a failed novelist.
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Graham Potter (Brighton)
Recruitment Consultant. Slick, trendy and will say anything to make you accept the offer. Also fronts an Oasis tribute band in his spare time.
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Sean Dyche (Burnley)
Bouncer at some dodgy club. Doesn’t look twice at the girls’ ID but likes to give the lads a hard time. Loves to flex his muscles.
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Eddie Howe (Bournemouth)
PE Teacher that all the girls in his school fancy for no real reason. He’s a nice guy but fully expect detention if you forget your kit.
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Nuno Espirito Santo (Wolves)
Male model for the older generation. A fashion and style icon that make the ladies swoon. Writes poetry in his spare time.
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Ole Gunnar Solskjaer (Man United)
Never had a job ever and lives in his mum’s basement playing video games.
Also runs a Man United fan channel like Mark Goldbridge moaning about how the club is run and saying he would do better.
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Unai Emery (Arsenal)
Hotel manager in Benidorm. Presentation is perfect but customer service is shocking. Changes the menu every week. All his staff want to leave.
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Chris Wilder (Sheffield United)
Runs a taxi firm. The finest in Yorkshire. Affordable with an excellent and efficient service. Not much banter though.
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Pep Guardiola (Man City)
Maths lecturer. Absolute genius in his craft but is intolerant of his students.
Hates laughter. Struggles with normal human interaction. Sleeping on his mate’s sofa because his wife kicked him out.
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Frank Lampard (Chelsea)
Works in the centre of London in insurance. Earns a f*** ton even though no one really knows what he does.
Still finds time to coach his sons u-11 team on a Saturday. Hero.
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Brendan Rodgers (Leicester City)
A sales trainer and motivational speaker. Uses a lot of graphs and charts to make you go the extra yard. Improves performance by 150%. No one likes him.
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Jurgen Klopp (Liverpool)
Head of HR at an energy company in Germany, promotes green energy, cycling to work and a healthy work life balance.
Often seen smashed on a Thursday with the interns but gets in on Friday’s feeling fresh.
Special mentions
Arsene Wenger
Multibillionaire after inventing the internet and the mobile phone an absolute pioneer that is now burdened with the society he helped create. Now owns his own fashion label.
Jose Mourinho
The President of Portugal. His supporters love him, his opponents hate him. Has the mastery of detail needed for government but the popular touch needed to win 4 straight elections. Could sort out Brexit in a week
Sir Alex Ferguson
Took charge of a small wine distillery and made it into the biggest and best manufacturers of wine in the world, beating off competition everywhere. Company has fallen apart since his retirement.
Truly hilarious stuff. Completely spot on.
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