Tom Brady’s Business Partner and Man Behind His Cloned Dog Reveals ‘Cloning Humans Is Possible’

It took everything in Tom Brady to finally admit he was done with the NFL and walk away for good. But since he’s one of those guys who always needs to be doing something, beating someone at something, or simply competing, his post-NFL life hasn’t exactly slowed down.

Brady has his hands in so many different pies you could almost call him the Shaquille O’Neal of the NFL. He’s just not nearly the salesman Shaq is. But Brady loves to invest, and he recently made one of the most mind-boggling announcements of his post-playing career alongside one of the companies he’s invested in.

A couple of weeks ago, Brady and Colossal Biosciences announced that his new dog, Junie, is actually a direct clone of his old dog Luna, who passed away in 2023. And yes, they mean a clone, clone. This is apparently very real.

Brady and company announced the news like they’d just found a cure for male-pattern baldness rather than having crossed irredeemably over major ethical and moral lines with this cloning business. Playing god is not something humans were meant to do.

Not to mention how many stray dogs are waiting for a new home as nice as Brady’s. But instead, the wealthy can now just clone their old ones. Truly sinister stuff.

While many tried to keep it light by making jokes about how new Patriots saviour Drake Maye is a clone of Brady, some major voices in the sports media space rightly pointed out how insane and terrifying the news was. “Not at all insane,” said former PFF analyst Sam Monson sarcastically.

“Being rich means never knowing when you look like a lunatic,” wrote The Ringer’s Diante Lee. “wtf did I just read,” responded ESPN’s Dolphins beat writer Marcel Louis-Jacques.

There are many other responses to the extremely worrying and even weirder revelation. One Twitter user said you wouldn’t be able to “waterboard” an admission like that out of him. And fair point. It goes to Lee’s argument that Brady doesn’t even realise just how messed up this thing he did is.

And now, it’s getting even weirder. The man behind the company that purportedly cloned Brady’s dog, biotech company Colossal Biosciences, is now saying that cloning humans is also possible. As if cloning your own dead pet wasn’t wild enough. Hey, why not try cloning your long-deceased grandparents now?

Seriously, who asked for this?

Well, apparently, that question doesn’t matter if it’s not being asked by someone with a net worth of at least $1 billion. Ahh, the advantages of capitalism. Colossal founder and CEO, and cool rich guy, Ben Lamm, thinks they have the technology to do it.

And he said his company is not interested in cloning humans so many times in one interview, you just have to take his word for it.

“I do think that the technologies that we have, we could clone humans. We are not, obviously. The technologies that we have and are developing, you could bring, just depending on what the DNA preservation of someone like Albert Einstein is, could you bring back some of those people. Yes, would they be the same people? No. They’re genetically the same, but they don’t have the same behaviors.”

So they’re not actually clones but just beings with the same genetic material as the original? Feel like we’ve had something like that going on for a while, no? Oh yeah, regular human and animal reproduction.

Lamm specifies that he’s “not advocating” for all human or primate-related cloning ideas. He said that a lot. However, he didn’t say he shuts those ideas down on moral grounds either. No, no.

He “spins those out” or licenses them so that they are under “different governance.” He didn’t go into detail on that, but that certainly sounds like he pushes those ideas to different businesses that have no qualms about pursuing them. Make of those words what you will.

The world is unfortunately being led by a lot of tech bros like Lamm who care for nothing but fattening the pockets of shareholders through record profits. Morality? Ethics? Value to the community? Solving societal problems? These are foreign concepts in business nowadays, all fallen by the wayside in the name of the all-powerful: capital.