The (Un)Real Interview: Karun Nair out-pours frustration over fifth-test snub

TheSportsRush correspondent conducts an (Un)Real Interview with Karun Nair after he wasn’t selected for the fifth test.

Karun Nair was not included in the final test against England, which caused an uproar among the Indian fans. Nair didn’t play a single match on the England tour, and captain Virat Kohli preferred to give Hanuma Vihari a debut in the fifth instead. We approached Karun Nair for his thoughts, as he prepared food for the lunch break.

Karun, what do you have to say about this decision?

‘Yes, I feel it’s terrible. I should’ve only used one teaspoon of oil in this vegetable. Excessive oil is not very good for players’ health..

Umm, Karun, we meant what do you have to say about not being selected for the fifth test?

‘Don’t mention about it. I’ve disguised myself as a cook here so BCCI doesn’t identify me. It’s difficult, you know. After the third test, I began to hear rumours that I’ll be asked to return the money for hotel-stays and transportation. No one knows I’m still here.

Wait, so do you mean..

‘Yes. No one has even noticed that I’m gone. Just five more days to survive.’

How difficult has been your experience?

‘Well, in the initial few days I prepared cocktails for Ravi Shastri..

‘Karun, we meant how difficult has been your experience at not being selected?’

‘Yes. I’m talking about the same. I prepared cocktails for Shastri so he can notice that I’m also a part of this team. But he only praised the cocktails, never its maker. When Ajinkya didn’t perform in the initial few tests, I pretended to look intensely at the pitch in front of Virat. But he was always too busy practicing for his century-celebration.

‘How do you look at your future in the Indian team, now that you haven’t appeared in a single test here?’

I recently received a mail from West Indies Cricket Board. They said they empathize with my situation at the Indian team, and assured me they’re coming soon to revive my career. I hope I’ll be selected for the home series, though.

We wish you make through the five days here, Karun.

Aah, easy. I went unnoticed after becoming the only second Indian batsman to score a triple-hundred. So this is nothing.

(This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.)