Neymar replaces Bob Marley as new ‘roll-model’ for Marijuana smokers

Neymar’s rolling has become an inspiration for weed smokers around the world.

The Brazilian forward has been consistently on the headlines for all the wrong reasons. Neymar is scrutinised for his theatrics on the pitch, even when many movie directors are keen on working with the Brazilian.

“It looked so real it made me cry. I wanted to take my eyes out. Quite literally,” Steven Spielberg said about Neymar’s acting on the pitch.

And the Brazilian now has admirers from the tightly-knit community of weed smokers from all over the world. They are so impressed with Neymar that even Bob Marley has now taken a backseat.

“We found our new god. He represents every one of us now,” Ganjeshwar, who scores weed everyday from Subhash Nagar, said.

Ganjeshwar used to have pictures of Bob Marley and Snoop Dogg in his bedroom. But today, those posters are deprived of space, because Neymar has replaced them all. “When I first tried to stick Neymar’s poster, it rolled and fell down. It was that moment I realised we’ve found our spiritual guru,” Ganjeshwar said.

“Neymar has actually done ‘they see me rollin’, they hatin’ in real life. Why should we not worship him?” Ganjeshwar’s friend Cokender Singh said about Neymar.

Cokender rolls weed for his friends every time they plan a smoke-up. But when we asked him, he insisted that he doesn’t roll anymore. “No, I don’t roll. From now on-wards, I Neymar. We have replaced the word ‘roll’ with ‘Neymar’ from today,” Cokender states.

Neymar has become a cult figure for smokers all around the world. Diego Maradona recently admitted that he requested FIFA to reserve a special area on the ground for Odet-Cascadec-Ballore (OCB paper), for Neymar to roll in. This explains his behaviour during the match.

“I want to ‘touch’ Neymar’s feet once, so I can see him fall and roll with my naked eyes. It is now my biggest dream” Cokender concluded, as he “Neymar-ed” another joint for his friends.

(This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.)