Kelly Stafford, even if she sometimes makes questionable statements, deserves credit for being one of the few female-led voices in the NFL podcasting world. She’s helped bring a new demographic to the sport, especially considering that football viewership skews heavily toward men aged 55 and up. On a recent episode of her podcast, The Morning After, Kelly came up with a hilarious and surprisingly clever idea.
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During the season, Kelly actually breaks down almost every major matchup and talking point on the show. She often has plenty to say about her husband, Matthew, and how the L.A. Rams are performing. But she also keeps her audience in mind and will occasionally drop easy-to-follow NFL guides for newer or confused fans.
She did exactly that on her latest episode, using a funny analogy to explain defensive positions: an NFL defense is like a nightclub.
“The bouncers, these are your defensive linemen. They are not letting anything get through that shouldn’t get through, meaning all [opposing] running backs. They are the first line of defense, they’re massive, they’re big, and they are athletic as hell,” Stafford said on her podcast The Morning After.
It was a funny example that felt right on point. Kelly further explained that the defensive line is always looking for the guy causing the most problems, usually the rival QB or RB, much like a bouncer in a real club seeks out a troublemaker.
She didn’t stop there, though. Stafford had analogies for other positions, too. And next, she talked about linebackers.
“Then you got the linebackers. These are like my mom friends. I love linebackers! They’re great, they’re in the mix all night, keeping tabs on everyone… They are literally just trying to monitor everything, and they’re stepping in whenever they need to. Whenever there’s drama, they’re there,” Stafford said.
Kelly’s co-host also pointed out that linebackers are a position of power, which Mrs. Stafford agreed with. She went on to say that it’s a position that can break the game and that they’re often deemed team captains because they’re so good at noticing things others don’t. In the end, Kelly called them the QB of the defense.
Next, she talked about her husband’s biggest weakness, cornerbacks.
“Cornerback… It’s like your shadow friend. Never leaves you alone. Doesn’t leave your side, like they are just always there. If you need to go to the bathroom, they’re there. If you’re on the dance floor, they’re there. They just, sometimes you’re like, ‘Get the f**k away from me.’ They’re glued to you,” Kelly quipped.
Of course, Kelly meant this in the sense of a cornerback never leaving the side of a wide receiver. She also noted that they are usually in man-to-man coverage, which is why they never leave the receiver’s side. Although she added they play zone at times, she admitted it was too complicated to explain then and there.
Stafford then moved on to the last line of defense: safeties.
“Finally, there’s safeties… They’re the ones that’s like, ‘Hey, let me know that you got home safe’… They’re also the last line of protection. So, they’re kind of back, watching, and making sure everyone’s okay. And if something gets through the cracks, or if something goes wrong, they’re usually there to help out.”
The analogy was actually super helpful to Kelly’s co-host, as she didn’t quite understand what a safety does on the field. This also made sense since safeties usually aren’t on TV that much during games. Stafford told her friend to just always remember that the safety position is like a safety net.
All in all, it was a great set of analogies that were super funny to hear. There are probably holes you could punch in the relations. But for the most part, any person who’s been to a nightclub should understand exactly what she’s saying.
Maybe with Stafford’s knowledge and sense of humor, she should write the next edition of “Football for Dummies.” In all seriousness, though, this was a nice, subtle flex from her on her knowledge of the game.
