The (Un)Real Interview: Rishabh Pant and Tim Paine

TheSportsRush brings The (Un)Real Interview with Rishabh Pant and Tim Paine, as the sledging game between both the players continues.

India are on the brink of victory in the third test at Melbourne, despite a fighting half-century from Pat Cummins on the fourth day of the match. However, the sledging from Rishabh Pant towards Tim Paine was one of the major talking points of the day.

It gained more significance after on-field umpire Ian Gould talked to Rishabh Pant on his remarks on two occasions. Earlier, Tim Paine sledged the Indian wicketkeeper on Day 3 of the game.

We talked to both the wicketkeepers after day four to know their views.

Hi, Rishabh and Tim. How are you both?

Rishabh: “I’m great! But someone’s in Paine.”

Tim: “Yeah, Rishabh. That’s probably your fingers after dropping sitters.”

Let’s not sledge here, gentlemen.

Tim: “Okay.”

Rishabh: “Tim, he said ‘gentleman.’ You shouldn’t bother acknowledging.”

Enough, guys. Let’s talk about the test match..

Tim: “Pat is playing really well, and Nathan can bat a bit. It will be difficult, of course, but with rain around the corner, we have a chance to overturn the situation, and draw, or maybe win the game.”

Rishabh: “And here, my friend, is your Booker for Best Fiction.”

Rishabh, your team had the chance to wrap the game up today itself. But your problems with bowling out the tail continue..

Tim: “If he hadn’t dropped the catches..”

Rishabh: “.. then you’d probably be sacked as the captain already. Anyway, coming back to the question – it wasn’t as if we couldn’t bowl them out. Jasprit did that fine the other day. The problem was very simple – Ravi sir couldn’t arrange beer for tonight.”

Oh. That’s a very serious reason, indeed..

Rishabh: “True. I mean, what’s the point of taking a 2-1 lead Down Under and not have the beer to celebrate it with?”

Paine: “But you don’t drink, do you? Babysitters aren’t advised to consume alcohol.”

[yuzo_related]

Not now, Tim. Now, there have been issues in the commentary box, regarding racist remarks..

Tim: “Just a bit of banter, I guess.”

Rishabh: “I saw a Kangaroo the other day.”

Eh? 

Rishabh: “He stood on two legs, jumped onto everything and was hostile to anyone other than his own kind. All of this makes Kerry O’Keefe very different from that Kangaroo.

Woah.

Tim: “Hello, Mr Gould? I’d like to make a complaint..”

Rishabh: “Aw, should I babysit you, Tim?”

Don’t start again, you both. Okay, this conveniently leads me to the final question – Why did Gould interfere?

Rishabh: “Ian told me to go easy on him. Tim’s already in a lot of Paine.”

Tim: “Not my fault. Rishabh made the ‘temporary captain’ jibe.”

Rishabh: “Which you are.”

Tim: “Oh, comes from a temporary keeper..”

Rishabh: “Go check Mathew Wade’s recent scores..”

Right, right, enough. I guess we cannot stop them from sledging each other. The interview ends here!

(This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the autor’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner.)